When its family

When it's family, you forgive them for they know not what they do
When it's family, you accept them, 'cause you have no choice but to
When it's family, they're a mirror of the worst and best in you
And they always put you to the test
And you always try to do your best
And just pray for God to do the rest, when it's family

Some are preachers, some are gay
Some are addicts, drunks and strays
But not a one is turned away, when it's family
Some are lucky, others ain't
Some are fighters, others faint
Winners, losers, sinners, saints, it's all family

And when it's family you trust them and your heart's an open door
When it's family, you tolerate what you'd kill others for
When it's family, you love and hate and take, then give some more
Somehow you justify mistakes, try to find some better way
To solve the problems day to day, in the family

You take the trouble as it comes and love them more than anyone
Good or bad or indifferent, it's still family
You choose your lovers, you pick your friends
Not the family that you're in, nah
They'll be with you 'til the end, 'cause it's family

And when it's family, you forgive them for they know not what they do
When it's family, they're a mirror of the worst and best in you
When it's family, when it's family
Let me be all that I should be to the family

WHAT MY TEACHER NEVER TOLD ME.

My teachers always insisted,on good grades.Whenever we dropped our grades,we got a beating.Sometimes sent home,to get our parents who also gave us a beating too."They told us"soma kwa bidii utapata kazi nzuri"(Read hard and you will get a good job.)They made  us we believed a good job can only be a white colour job.Anybody who didn't anything else was regarded us (kanda ya moko).It didn't matter how much they earned ,we were made to believe that office jobs were better than trying our own business or even pursuing our talents or gift if you may.
My dad especially, was obsessed with education.Maybe because he didn't get a chance to pursue what he really wanted.He had to grow fast,be the man of the house when my grandfather was not around.There was 2nd world war then we had our own fight in Kenya.Fighting for freedom.He believed in academic excellence.Even playing as kids,we had to hide.My brothers,especially,they never played football with other kids.If my parents saw a football,that was trouble.They got a beating.They were made to believe playing meant they were not focused on books and hence it would lead to bad performance.
Now that we are all grown,some with their own kids.We know that all kids are not the same.We have different talents.We are our own individuals.Some are born entrepreneurs,they have it in them.Some love to read,some are born artist and the list is endless.So am i wrong if i say academic excellence is overrated?

"Academic excellence is overrated! I said it. Being top of your class does not necessarily guarantee that you will be at the top of life. You could graduate as the best student in Finance but it doesn't mean you will make more money than everybody else. The best graduating Law student does not necessarily become the best lawyer. The fact is life requires more than the ability to understand a concept, memorise it and reproduce it in an exam. School rewards people for their memory. Life rewards people for their imagination.The world requires more creative minds. School rewards caution, life rewards daring. School hails those who live by the rules. Life exalts those who break the rules and set new ones.
So do I mean people shouldn't study hard in school? Oh, no, you should. But don't sacrifice every other thing on the altar of First Class. But for this to happen,parents need to understand that they need to support their kids' dreams and talents.Learn what your kid is good at and encourage them to go for it.Don't limit yourself to the classroom. The classroom is just a square and not everyone can fit it it. Do something practical. Take a leadership position. Start a business and fail. That's a better Entrepreneurship 101. Join or start a club. Contest an election and lose. It will teach you something Political Science 101 will not teach you. Attend a seminar. Read books outside the scope of your course. Go on missions and win a soul for eternal rewards... Do something you believe in! If you do something you believe in and are passionate about.You will find a way to the world and you will bring it to life.You are happy.Think less of becoming an excellent student but think more of becoming an excellent person. Don't make the classroom to be your world but Make the world your classroom.The world teaches you what you never learnt in a classroom.
Step forward, try politics, try farming, try business, try an extra thing ."
There is more to the world.Parents,don't build a future for your kids,but build your kids for the future.

Christmas

EMBRACE THE TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.
To most, start of December is stating christmas is here.While I try and hold myself back from heading into full-blown Christmas whole year, I usually find it  more easy to go by around December because I know almost everyone shares my enthusiasm.
It's amazing what christmas does to us .It waves a magic wand to the world and beyond.
When i grew up it was and still is,my favourite season of all times.It brought softness and beauty to everything. Everything was light, no jokes were too dry.We could tolerant each other.A simple act of eating together meant the world.
During this season in today's  ,people "embrace" christmas spirit .People smile,gift each other(very important).To some,it's another time of the year to hold on the  traditions.Some spend time with loved ones/family and they create  more memories.
Times have changed and i wonder ,is the holiday season still without a doubt,the  favourite time of the year to many?I probably asks that question because am in Europe(Norway)and the culture is different.As an outsider, i think the holidays can be a lonely and stressful time, making the idea of holiday cheer nothing more than wishful thinking.For people like me probably difficult because you have no family around but for the Norwegians its more hectic and stressful because of the expectations and anticipation.Over the years,some people have grown cynical of Christmas. They have run out of good gift ideas, gotten fed up with the shopping mall feeding frenzy, and been downright been pissed off at ungrateful people.
The pressure to spend money you don't have destroying the spirit.The truth is, in Norway there are more people spending Christmas alone more than you think.They can't handle the pressure or they just can't afford it and they would rather avoid getting together with the rest.
My mum always said to us,Like in most African families- Christmas is not all about the new clothes ,gifts or expecting much.We were taught and still are reminded important virtues.We are  reminded to be thankful by being encouranged to share with those with and without.It's a day to show kindness not only to those who love us but to those who have wronged us,so we forgive and ask for forgiveness.
We are reminded to appreciate the little or the much  you already have.We were actually made to sit in the evening and say what we were thankful for.A time to be  compassionate and kind to one another. We had to say one kindact we had done,in a way we did a lot of reflection. Break bread with the hungry, share laughter  and thats The true spirit of christmas.This time usually  dont spend with only the family ,but with neighbours,friends and even strangers.We welcome anyone to eat with us.What was and still is  exciting is being able to share a meal and eat which ever kind of food.Being able to come together as one was.Maybe thats the spirit we should embrace here,all the time.

I LOVE THE SOUND OF THE RAIN.

   I love the sound of rain, why do I love it? I simply connect the sound of rain to relaxation and warmth .Yes, you heard right. Others think of rain as cold and wet.Uff!
Because of rain we get to create a different ambience. We fire up the oven, make a big mug of hot chocolate and snuggle down in that warm blanket.  Cosy right? I think for me there is a more deeper explanation. Something related to my beliefs, my roots/culture or simply my primitive self.
I love the  rain because as a country girl, rain means good harvest. The heavens open, and it  pours, then  the gods are happy. That means blessings.
 When it rains, it sparks my child hood memories. We gathered around the fire, stretching  our arms towards the fire, to get as much heat as we could possibly get. Everyone was facing towards the fire and hence towards everyone else.
Everyone's faces were  lit, making facial features easy to read, especially when we told stories.
We created a boundary against the dark dangers of the night creating a safe-feeling. Some time we could just keep silent for a minute to listen to the sound of rain and the fire popping. We could wait for a long one min just to hear that pop, and we would burst into laugher. As the firewood burnt the light patterns of fire  changed ,adding visual interest. If the wind was blowing softly
,the  smoke direction create some drama that kept things dynamic. I love the rain and it’s sound.
The amount of peace it brings me is enormous.Does rain remind of something?

Dear mother(s)

You did not see yourself as a mother,you found yourself being a mother.
You realized what responsibilities that came with.
You choose to be a mother not of one but five.
You put all your needs aside,your priorities became us .
You gave up so much just to see us happy.

Since the first baby came things  changed.Nothing was the same again.
Your life was filled with wonder and even now i guess it's .
There was a lot of things you did not know ,what to do but you did them the best way you knew.
You had a lot of things to do.
Life was expanding and you had to make room for these treasures.
Every two years  4 10yrs A darling newcomer to have and to hold--
We demolished your schedule though we were helpless and small;we made our need known,
And we ruled over all.
You See, a mother's work ,Is just never quite done,
But you never mind,Cause it's all worthy it.
You had to change with us,as we grew.

Sometime you were a disciplinary,sometimes you were the loving mother who 

became like a child to teach us how to talk

When you heard the cute giggle

You'll started "aahing" and "oohing,"
And  soon reply back
By "ga ga" and "goo gooing."

Oh yes you had to play the game.
Today i look back and say if i could be half the woman you are,i would the greatest
Your patience,kindness,love,sacrifice is what we appreciate most.
You were the world greatest mother and would not change you for anything.
Love you mammi. 

I LOVE KENYA SO MUCH AND SEEING THIS PICTURE TOOK ME WAY BACK.

.......way back into time.Then i realized,freedom is not just a word but its the simple things and choices you are able to do without fear.The power or the right to act and think as one wants.The feeling of  entitlement.I think of  Kenya and ask myself when did we have freedom 1964 ?Or just some few years ago when Kenyans,the common "wananchi " were able to do certain things without feeling scared or watching their backs.

You see, freedom can also mean the absence of subjection to foreign domination.So could it be that just because it's one of us domineering then we don't consider the lack of freedom or we think its OK,or we give excuses why its OK.When i grew up,we only had one TV station and then in 1990 we had another  station,KTN  which by then  was  covered in Nairobi only.So the outcast of Nairobi still had  one TV station ,KBC(founded by the Kenya government in 1928).It was a very special to say the least.The news was about 30 mins but the first 5 to 7 mins at least was about the President. If you know me ,then you know am not talking about the first president of Kenya but the Second.His introduction it's self i think was too much "mtukufu rais wa Jamuhuri ya Kenya"(The honorable president of Republic of Kenya ) bla bla ....If it's an official introduction that made sense not in burials and other places that probably needed to be toned down.It's me thinking out loudly so you may not agree.It didn't matter if there were other important news or breaking news,NO he came first.Hello! at the end of the day he was the president of the Republic of Kenya.Watching the news any other day was not annoying but Sunday was.The president attended church every Sunday and we had to watch him get in church, sing a bit and at least a bit of the preaching(the word of the day) after service he had to have a short speech or at least stands to greet the congregation.Now when i think about, how free did those who were not christian feel?Anyway the big issue came if he had done so much during the  day like going for a "harembee"(fund raising)that meant more news coverage leading to  missing our favorite program which  was "Tausi" .Missing your favorite program as a kid is no fun and you can't understand why i'ts important to have the news covering about the president attending a burial,or seeing him on his way from church stopping in the local shopping centers greetings the locals.That is the only time the security was not very tight and he managed to greet few people by hand.

Everyday in the morning we knew what and where the president would go and do during the day and if he happened to be passing near your school then the school would be closed and everyone goes by the road and wait just to watch his motorcade.If lucky then he would  stop and greet people.Basically this guy campaigned from the first day of his term till the last.Then we should not be shocked he ruled Kenya for 24 years.

Freedom is also being able to speak ones mind.Trust me not even the comedians would make jokes or mention his name.Everyone was careful what to say and do.

That makes me wonder did we then really have freedom ?Or just coz the British were no longer colonizing us then we thought that's what freedom is.Having a black man rule is what we called FREEDOM?NO no no it's being able to say,do,think without mincing  words as long as it's within the law.I see lots of us Kenyans are  now struggling to understand why things are different and more free.A lot of people don't understand for example how our President can mix and meet people,drive a car,attend events without much security.He is able to interact with Kenyans,letting people to state house,something that was so hard to see before. Because of that ,some think he is not serious.I think because of our previous experience what we would say"kukaliwa kichwa" which basically mean 'to be sat on the head' some people still think having a leader who makes the rules and we just follow is what real leadership is all about.Please don't confuse being FIRM and being a DICTATOR.Some people think being part or involving everyone in making decision for our country is having no CONTROL and that to some people it's CAOS. No that's what DEMOCRACY is all about people.

It's that one picture that made brought so many memories.With that said Kenya is still not where its supposed to be but there is no one who will make Kenya a better country but us.We can always say "tumekaliwa kichwa" but hell no !we let them sit on us.So for those 24yrs if we wanted change at least we could have done something about it.What made us say enough is enough in 2002.It's a very simple word which us Kenyans find it hard to be part of us and that is UNITY.
I was not supposed to be writing this but anyway i  have already opened this can of worms.For the British to be able to colonize Kenya they used one rule DIVIDE AND RULE. Then we adapted .For God sake! there is a lot of things that the British taught us,some were good but we choose not to follow but one bad practice is what we decided not to drop.WHY and i mean WHY don't we drop at least what i consider the worse  practiced they used on us,DIVISION all in the name of TRIBE.I can only say as long as we don't unite as a country then we are our own SLAVES.Remember South Africa is one of the oldest country to gain independence in 1910,yet after 1994 end of apartheid

(colonial being union of south Africa).Then it was considered as a free country.Same same thing with this Tribe stuff.My point was simple ,For now am happy that we do have a president who is opened and make people understand that he is human.I like that he gets involved in a lot of things you would consider not important but they make  Kenya proud and it's those things that make us Kenyans forget the division we have.Those things unity us as Kenyans.I have to say congrats to RUGBY 7s .You make us proud.By the way i have never heard when Kenya rugby 7s wins anyone saying oh they are from this and this tribe.Let us dwell in things that keep us together and so thank you to our president for the support.

Am a proud Kenyan.

BORING,INTERESTING OR IS IT JUST AN ASSUMPTION...?

                                        BORING,INTERESTING OR IS IT JUST AN ASSUMPTION.........?

You see i have had  this conversation in my head for a long time.I am thinking it ,why not share  the thought as well,right?
Many of us don`t like boring people to say the least.We wonder what can we do together with them.We are afraid that nothing will be interesting.Afraid they will not like anything at all.It's a hard place to be,right?
Then my mind wonder are boring people just boring plain and simple.I know some say boring is not who one is as a person but  also how they present him/herselves.
It's my conclusion that boring people are not just boring but they are several things that make them to be referred to as " boring".

1.TRUST ISSUES.
You see when one has trust issues, and i mean lack of trust i others,those people will tend not to be open enough,afraid to try new things because they don't trust that the person or the people they are with will protect them when it comes to doing news things.Then they are closed up and only tend to stick to what they know best and hence we refer to them and who knows it could be us and  we are referred to as "boring".
a) Have a hobby not hobbies.
 So boring people tend to have a hobby and not hobbies and most of the time they tend to be good in it coz that  is the only hobby they know or do.
b) Afraid to explore.
Its one thing to be seen as boring as to be actually  be boring.This means they are not trusting enough to try something new especially if asked by someone else.

2.LACK OF CONFIDENCE(in trying new things and confident in the only thing they do all the time)
Yes sticking to what one knows best,for lack of confidence to try something new.Boring people like to stay within their comfort zone,so interesting people tend to try lots of things for what i guess is confidence and are not afraid not to be the best coz all they are trying  is to have some fun.
So then that leads me asking ,Are boring people competitive?

3.WORK WITH NO PLAY?
I might not be right but this is what i think.I think boring people are very competitive and will only engage in something they know they are good at and coz they are boring people they only tend to do one thing over and over.We all know what that leads to perfection and one being good at it.
So that brings us to work with no play makes Jack a dull boy.Then another question crosses my mind,Do some career turn some people to be boring or do some people get good career out of being boring?Doing one thing over and over.
Don't get me wrong but look at accountants,personally i think they are boring yet  we need them so badly coz they are  good in what they do.They have to be focused and the only thing they have to do is adding,subtracting,dividing and multiplying.(am aware they do more),don't think am discrediting anyone and actually very impressed that one can do something over and over without  getting bored and actually some tend to enjoy.Sounds boring doing this everyday yet we know its very important to have such people who are passionate enough to do this everyday 5 days a week for 30 to 40 years.
Another example is inventors.A  guy like Thomas Edison(light bulb inventor) tried this over and over until he got it right.So it it fear to try new things that make people be labelled as boring?

4.FEAR TO EMBRACE CHANGE.
For one to lead an interesting life then change must be part of life.Being able to embrace it, fear of change causes stagnancy and causes lots of us to be labelled as " boring".

You see when i started to write my head was more clearer than it is now.I thought by sharing my opinion will easy this clouded  head of mine but clearly i need to  continue another day one thing for sure i still know one thing for sure... we all need interesting people around us esp in our social life.